I laugh inside when I write this title, slowing down. Its seems so absurd especially looking at how many things are packed into my week.
Home schooling one son, organizing and trying to stay connected with the one going to school, cadets, curling, and lets not forget working, yoga classes, as well as daily practice, meetings with principals, Calgary classes, whew! I get a bit overwhelmed just thinking of it all!
So where in amongst all of this chaos does the title fit in? The title comes from yoga practice and taking the practice off of the mat. And just how do I do that? Yoga teaches us to ‘live in the moment‘ and thats just what I do. Its almost a cliche to “live the moment‘ Its said so often it almost becomes white noise, but what is it?
I can make huge lists, look at them and feel an anxiety attack want to bubble up. I can feel the tell tale signs as the tingling starts in my toes and fingers, my breathing becomes erratic, my jaw tightens and my tongue wants to wedge itself to the roof of my mouth, I start gasping for a breath feeling like my lungs no longer want to cooperate with my my body.
Anxiety is the first reason I turned to yoga finding such relief I was astounded! I would practice and for the next 24hrs I would feel great, then the creeping would start again. I would repeat the same things over and over again thinking for some strange reason a different result would be attained. Goes back to the old saying how many times do you need to hit your head against a wall before you stop and realize it hurts, AND that you are the one creating the pain!
So what was I doing so wrong that kept this pattern going? I was practicing, wasn’t that enough? Well, not if I was only practicing one aspect of yoga, which was asana (movement) and leaving the rest out.
In every moment of chaos if we are just able to stop our thoughts from racing to the what if’s or the ‘how did that happen‘ or better yet, ‘ I wish I had said‘. This fit me to a ‘T’! I was either worrying about what I hadn’t done or said, then looking at what needed to be done and worrying how I was going to get it all finished, and was I going to be able to make everyone happy in the process!
First of all, I don’t know where I got the idea that everyone else’s happiness was my responsibility, but I did. And we know how well we can please everyone all the time...NOT!
So, in my roundabout kind of way where does this crazy title come in? All I’m writing about is stress and anxiety! It goes back to the simplest thing we are taught and that is “living in the moment” I had to change my patterns, I had to literally change the way I thought. Instead of worrying about what had happened or what was about to I would stop, slow my thought pattern, look around and realize what I was doing and that was it! One thought at a time. One breath at a time.
What is done is done, unless there is a time machine I haven’t heard of yet we can’t undo what has been done. What is in the future hasn’t even happened yet. We think of every awful thing that could happen and try to figure out ways to stop what (once again) hasn’t even transpired. Instead of just taking a breath and enjoying the moment that we’re in. So, even though my list hasn’t dwindled much I take each moment as it comes, focus on the task at hand and then go on. If everything doesn’t get completed then I put too much on my list. It will get done another day.
And for those that follow this blog I am still waking with thanks, even though its becoming second nature now.
I realize that this isn't the first time I've written about this topic but its like a New Years resolution that needs some reminding, especially for myself.